First of all, I would like to make a formal complaint. Why can't sims get married on vacation? Ever heard of destination weddings?
Ugh. Yeah. I know. Probably something to do with merging households. But still. I'm annoyed. I wanted them to elope at the park in Granite Falls, but alas, Juniper and Salim will have to settle for a backyard wedding with chair that no one will use.
What does that entail? Well, the groom moonlighting as mixologist and the bride baking their own cake.
And some very lackluster guests. Except for Akira, who seems confusingly happy for his usual dour demeanor and former romance with the bride.
Salim: WHY IS HE HERE
I don't know, but look how smug he is. The hell, Akira?
Juniper: I don't feel well.
Salim:…You're getting cold feet, aren't you?
Juniper: No! I think I'm getting the flu.
Salim: Do you think you could be pregnant?
Juniper: It's possible.
Salim:…Then maybe you should put the drink down.
Salim: You sure you can do this.
Juniper: Sjdfhsuifhjksdfhjksdhfs
Okay…
Juniper: Sorry, I mean, of course I can do this.
Meanwhile, the guests are lining up in the isle in front of the alter. Because, naturally, standing is appropriate during wedding ceremonies (Thanks TS4).
Juniper: I did it! I got married! And I haven't passed out yet!
Why so dissatisfied?
Salim: Go find my wife.
Oh…
Salim: No, really, I've always wanted to cut my wedding cake alone.
Akira: *Giggles smugly*
Shut up you ass!
I feel ya, Juniper. I feel ya.
Juniper: It's been that kind of day.
I know. Keep drinking that wine.
Juniper: By the way, I'm definitely not pregnant.
Yikes, I'm sorry…
Wow, it looks like you did really have the flu! I guess no honeymoon for you guys.
Nonetheless, they get right to honeymooning the next day when Juniper wakes up a little less scaly.
While Salim works on his mental wellness…
Juniper gets a promotion!
And then so does Salim. Things are going pretty swell for the new couple.
…Until Juniper finds out she isn't pregnant, again.
She she and Salim try again.
Juniper: I look horrible, don't I?
No. I mean, maybe you look like you had some botox work done, but you look ultimately the same.
It turns out that I forgot about both hers and Salim's birthdays. Oops. So here is Juniper as an adult.
As well as a very unamused Salim.
Salim: Are these pictures really even worth including? Do we look any different at all?
Shut up, it's fine.
In light of his recent promotion, Salim hates his job, and comes home every day entirely stressed out with very low fun levels.
Salim: The job is sucking the inspiration right out of my writing. Can I quit?
…No, but you can have a better TV!
Salim: This is hardly better.
Dude, take what you can get. This is a legacy.
You, uh, okay there Juniper?
Juniper: I'm STILL not pregnant.
This looks like terrifying woohoo, but if you think that's a good idea, I'll leave it to you guys…
Juniper: Is there something wrong with me?
What? Why?
Juniper: I'm still not pregnant.
Wait really? You've tried so many times! This is actually starting to concern me, too.
Juniper: Is there anything you can do?
Here, let me just grab you a fertility treatment…
Whatcha doing there, Salim?
Salim: Just waiting on Juniper to come out of the bathroom. She's taking a pregnancy test.
*Crosses fingers*
Juniper: Well…
Juniper: I'M PREGNANT! FINALLY!
Salim: Hurrah?
What the hell, Salim? Why does your face look like that?
Salim: I don't really know if I like kids.
…But you wanted to be in a legacy.
Somehow, Juniper is so excited that she doesn't even seem to notice how confused her husband is.
Salim: It's fine. I'm so happy.
Salim: *Eight consecutive eye twitches* SO FINE THE FINEST
In light of her pregnancy, we snag some kid equipment for the spare room, which, until now, was pretty much just a bed and a few walls.
Salim gets himself a new promotion.
And Juniper hits another promotion, as well as a maxed cooking level.
She finally has a few days off, and can focus on her gourmet cooking skills.
And meanwhile harasses her husband by eating next to him while he's trying to write.
Maternity leave also offers her the opportunity to finally plant those new herbs she collected on vacation, and, you know, actually water her dying garden.
The pregnancy hormones also prove to be a bit of a problem, especially when Salim comes home from work already grumpy and she just sits, glaring at him, while they eat. Come on, Juniper. He's doing the best he can.
And not before long…
Juniper: WHAT IS THIS WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM SO BADLY?
I don't think that's what's wrong…
Salim: *Cowers* You're in labor, aren't you???!!!
Salim, you are so useless right now.
And only a few days later…
Juniper: I've been thinking. I want another baby, and it took so long last time to conceive that I think we should start now.
Salim: I mean, I sure do like the conceiving part…and I know this is necessary for a legacy, so…It's fine.
Way to be a champ, Salim.
AND SHE'S PREGNANT ON FIRST TRY THANK GOD.
And this is his face when she tells him she's pregnant. Again.
WHAT IS THIS FACE AND WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
Anyways, I'll leave you here, to ponder the complexities and horrors of childbearing, just like Salim here. See you next time!
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