Juniper: It's fine. This is fine. I look happy, right?
Meet Juniper Arbor, the founder of the Awkward Tree Legacy! What is an awkward tree legacy, you might ask? Well, if you enjoy your standard legacy with a tree-naming twist, and incredibly awkward and uncomfortable facial expressions and situations, this is for you. If your spirit sim always look mildly in pain, confused by everyday social interactions, and attempts to overcompensate for a lack of communication skills with dazed (and really unjustified) confidence––you, my friend, might be a Juniper yourself.
Juniper wants to become a Master Chef, and is your everyday foodie, snob, and nature lover.
Join us as she attempts to understand life.
Juniper: No, really, I can definitely live here.
Keep telling yourself that, June.
This is the cause of that forced smile on Juniper's face: her home.
Not much, but I have to say that I love the addition of "used" furniture in the new expansion. Nonetheless, she is really too poor to actually buy any seeds or books, so her elective pieces of furniture will have to wait until she can go to work tomorrow.
Without much to do, and in the hopes of racking up some simoleons, Juniper goes fishing at one of the local fishing holes in her neighborhood. Unlucky for her, the only fish she caught was worth a whopping $0.
But, hey, at least she can cook it, right?
It's not too long before the welcome wagon shows up––and then the fruitcake magically disappears and never reappears. This is a shame, considering the fact that Juniper has about $8 to her name, and she needs to cook actual meals (which cost money) to complete her daily work tasks.
PS Has there ever been a welcome wagon that did not consist of these two, looking horrendously in pain like they are here strictly out of obligation?
Old Lady: Yes, the neighborhood here is quite nice––or, rather, it was, until you bulldozed the beautiful building on this lot. It's such a shame. I'm honestly heartbroken.
Juniper: HELP
Juniper: *eye twitch*
Sorry there. I know the welcome wagon is never much fun. Why don't we get you into town? Meet some people your own age? Especially since they threw away your fruitcake (I'm not bitter).
Ah, the arts district! The perfect place to––look taken aback and angry.
Until we meet this gentleman, Mr. Salim Benali, a creative, lazy writer at Walrus Books.
Juniper: Books, that's interesting. I read a lot of books. *confused hand fail that is supposed to look posh*
June, you own maybe two books, and you've read maybe five pages of a children's book on polka dots.
Juniper: He does not need to know that!
Honey, I think he knows.
It seemed like their conversation was going swimmingly enough, Salim FINALLY not looking at Juniper with that bored, blank stare, when this face happens.
Juniper: Cooking IS an art! More so than writing!
Oookay, I think maybe we had better move on before you ruin a potential friendship.
Juniper then pops on over to a karaoke bar, where she meets Akira Kibo, a curator-aspiring, self-assured tech guy with rocking fashion.
In my last household, my founding sim wound up marrying him, so I was really hoping they wouldn't hit it off––just for a touch of variety in my life.
But it was a rather immediate connection.
Some of his friends wound up performing karaoke for them, and all in all Juniper wound up having a splendid time, certain she would give Akira a ring soon (…like a telephone ring, not an engagement ring. WAY too soon.)
Leaving the karaoke room to the bar, we run into the fratiest of fratstars, J. Huntington III, a true Phi Delta Gamma for the ages.
Juniper: *Don't make eye contact; if you can't see it, it can't see you. I just want a drink.*
Yeah, well, you can't really afford a drink. How about some tap water?
J.: Well, hellloooooo there.
Juniper: Dear God.
J.: You are really a piece of work. That red hair is fine.
Juniper: Uh, well, thanks.
NO JUNIPER DON'T BE SUCKED IN TO THE FRATSTAR WILES.
J.: So, you knew here?
Juniper: Just moved in actually. I'm in the suburbs, though.
Random sir: This asshole stole my drink! And I would like full compensation!
Juniper: I think that is my queue to leave…
After J., begrudgingly, pays the gentleman's tab, he walks away with thoughts of bed floating above his head. I only just missed the picture!
Juniper: He's thinking about woohoo, isn't he?
I suggest you don't call him or give him your number. Just to be safe.
Again, you do not have enough money for fast food. Cut your tomatoes, already!
She spends the rest of the afternoon cooking salads and breadsticks (because they are so cheap).
…And trying to read.
Juniper: Trying???
Don't play coy with me; I know how you spend your time.
Finally having enough of her idle afternoon, Juniper decides (look at that face: totally not against her will) that a date for the afternoon should be in order.
Juniper: SILAM HI
Oh my God he is behind you.
Juniper: I know! I just…turning around feels awkward. I've already committed to this. There's not much I can do.
You are hopeless.
Miraculously enough, the pair have a great time.
There's plenty of awkward chatting and scared, confused eye contact…
And, you know, also a complete absence of eye contact…
…before Juniper finally gets around to the point of the invite.
Juniper: So, maybe, I mean, perhaps, we should go on a date. If that's not too weird…
Juniper: *What did I do wrong why is he not looking at me?*
Probably the same reason you don't look at him, either.
Salim: I'd love to go on a date with you.
And so, we head to the local bar.
Which is, well, of questionable taste with a very uncoordinated Geoffrey Landgraab dancing in the middle of the sitting area––for the duration of the entire date.
Regardless of the awkward dancing, the two wind up with a cozy spot right in front of the fire.
…Until Salim randomly decides to get up and go upstairs unannounced. A baffled and concerned Juniper approaches a woman at a neighboring table.
Juniper: WHAT DID I DO WRONG
Woman: Doll, the bathrooms are upstairs.
Juniper: Oh.
Although there is some confusion when Salim returns from the bathroom with a water glass.
Salim: Oh, you switched tables.
Juniper: Yeah, this my new friend, uh, uhhh, Jade?
Jade?: …I'm going to leave now. Enjoy your date.
Juniper: Sorry, I guess that was kind of awkward.
Salim (AKA King of the Side Eye): No worries. She seemed…nice.
Juniper: So…tell me about what you like to write.
Salim: I'm actually recently really into romances.
You don't say?
Not once, not twice, but THRICE does Salim excuse himself to the restroom upstairs only to return with a glass of water. It was weird, and left awkward lulls in the night, but I guess he's got that poor, struggling artist vibe. Can't afford a drink? Steal a glass from a bar and run to the bathroom to fill up on tap water. Mighty fine way to end a date.
Juniper leaves the date feeling exhausted and a little confused, but still had a good time with Salim. However, she's probably still going to keep her options open.
She spends the following morning preparing for work, which means cooking, and convincingly pretending that she is qualified for her job.
Juniper: IT'S FINE I TOLD YOU IT'S FINE. I know what I'm doing!
And also busies herself with learning a little bit more through reading. Salim would be proud!…Or maybe it's because of Salim…
Regardless, she comes home that night with her first promotion, granting her a few counters and enough money to invest in a yoga mat.
And here is where we'll leave off. Will Juniper ever make normal facial expressions? Will there be another bathroom-glass-filled date with Salim? Or will she give Akira and Fratstar a chance? All coming in the next installment!
Thanks for reading!
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