Are you recovered from the chaos that was Penny and Akira's engagement yet?
You are?
Good.
Because Penny's in labor and Akira is most certainly not recovered or prepared.
Akira: Why is no one else freaking out? There's a baby on the way!
Serafina: Akira, she's been pregnant so many times. It's really not a big deal.
Theo: *Sighs* I'm just going to go outside until the screaming's over.
Penny: Welcome to the world, little Aleksander! I really hope you're my last.
So do I, Penny. So do I.
Theo: I bet it's another boy.
Serafina: Statistically, that shouldn't happen.
Serafina: Oh, statistics have been proven wrong again.
Theo: At least this one isn't crying already. I'm so tired of the noise.
Serafina: You're such an old lady, Theo. At least the screaming keeps our house lively.
Akira: Well, all three of you have birthdays coming up soon. Are you guys ready to enter your teenage years? What a fun time!
Porter: I just want to grow up so I can get a job. Then maybe I can finally raise enough money to have my own room.
Serafina: Hey, I thought you liked sharing a room with me!
Porter: No offense, but don't you think we're a little old to be sharing a room? It's not like we're still playing Frasier and Niles together.
Serafina: Well, it sounds like I won't be making any room on the therapists' couch for you these days.
Akira: Kiddo, what's going on? You've been so down these past few days?
Porter: There are just so many kids in this house. Sometimes I feel like I don't get enough attention. Sometimes…I wonder if I would have been happier with Mom.
Akira was startled. He hadn't expected Lilith to come up––Lilith who never calls or visits.
Akira: I'm sorry you feel that way. I thought you and Serafina were such good friends.
Porter: Yeah, I guess…But I know things are going to change a lot between us once we grow up.
Akira: Of course, things will change. But that doesn't mean they have to change for the worse. The things you'll get to go through together as teenagers will be tough, but think of all the new experiences you'll get to have. Things will get better, I promise.
Meanwhile, Theo is uncharacteristically friendly. Little commentary here, let's just enjoy it while it lasts. He's going to make such an angsty teenager.
Akira has been surprisingly attentive to Aleksander this time around. Way to go, Akira! Learning to parent and actually using useful parenting actions.
Before long, it's Penrith's birthday!
He looks like such a little rebel, and I love it.
And it's also Aleksander's birthday! Is it just me, or does he look like he belongs in the Beatles?
And I forgot about Penny's birthday into an adult. Sorry, Penny!
Serafina: Hey, Porter! Do you want to play chess with me?
Porter: Not really.
Serafina: Look, I don't know what you're going through, but I miss being friends, so you need to figure it out.
While Serafina struggles with Porter, she and Penrith end up bonding quite nicely! How cute!
Penrith: Theo! THEO! There's a monster under my bed.
Theo: Porter's right. We need our own bedrooms. Go away, it's two in the morning!
Serafina: Hi, Dad! It's good to see you. Everyone's been miserable here these past few days.
Arie: What's going on? Mom had another baby and we're all exhausted. No one will play chess with me.
Thankfully for Serafina, Arie agrees to play chess with her. Maybe we'll finally hit a milestone for one of these kids?
Next up is Porter. Naturally he celebrates by himself after Penny's already rushed off to work and the other kids are at school.
He aspires to be a Renaissance Sim, and is a music loving perfectionist. Oh, honey. Perfectionism isn't going to do well in this legacy. I sense a very miserable teenager will soon be on our hands.
Porter: So, I'd really like to start developing my own sound. I was thinking a piano would suit me best.
Akira: I mean, I'd love to help, but we just don't have the money for a piano right now.
Porter:…Not even a keyboard?
Akira: Sorry, Porter. You're going to have to get a job and save up.
Only the very next day is Serafina's turn! I always forget how close these two are in age.
She's positively adorable and looks just like Arie. She rolled the Botanist aspiration, and is both a bookworm and a dance machine. Does that sound like an identity crisis in the making, or what?
Thankfully, now that these two are both teenagers, they're back to being friends again!
Arie stops by later that evening to celebrate with Serafina. And he's clearly already in a bad mood.
Akira gets home from work and finds the kids congregating in the living room.
Akira: What's going on?
Porter: Penny and Arie are in the bathroom.
Akira…What?
Serafina: They're fighting. Mom's telling Arie about your wedding.
Akira: She's seriously just now telling him? Oh god…
Penny: What do you mean you've known about us this whole time?
Arie: Well, Penny, what the hell did you think? It's obvious that Penrith and Aleksander are his! How dumb do you suppose I am?
Penny: I just didn't want to hurt you. I know I should have told you about Akira and I back when we got divorced, but––
Arie: YOU WERE WITH HIM WHILE WE WERE MARRIED?
Penny: So…that not's what you meant when you said you've known this whole time?
Arie: I meant in the past few years once you started having kids again! I didn't know you were having an affair! God, Penny. You've lied to me our entire time as friends, spouses, and parents. How are you even keeping this relationship with Akira afloat? Do you even know how to be in a relationship?
Penny: You rejected me TWICE. Do you really think that wasn't going to have some kind of long lasting effect on our relationship?
Penny: I wanted to love you! I tried! I really did! We just weren't compatible.
Arie: No, this is not my fault. I'm not the one who had an affair! Make all the excuses you like, but love is a choice.
Arie: I want nothing to do with you. I'll come visit the kids––I mean, hell, I'm not Lilith––but I can't even stand to look at you right now.
This is Penny less than an hour later. Clearly, that fight took it out on her.
Theo: So…my mom had an affair with your dad…and that's why my parents are divorced?
Porter: …Yup, that's pretty much it.
Theo: Well, shit.
Oh, Poor Theo.
Meanwhile, Penny cries on the toilet. Why, you ask?
She and Akira had a bit of a birth control mishap the previous night
Excuse me while I go chug some coffee. We're all going to need it.
Penny: So, I, uh, have some news. And depending on your mentality, it could be really exciting.
Penny: I'm pregnant.
Akira: I…I…have no words.
That's okay, Akira. I think we all need some time to recover from this one.
Look, Akira, I said we all need some time to recover, not "Let's just burn it down and jump ship."
Penny's. Face.
I'm crying.
Serafina: Hey, uh, Mom? I don't think Akira intentionally set the house on fire.
Penny: Not now, 'Fina. Mom needs some alone time.
Porter: What are we going to do? This house is getting out of control.
Theo: I don't think there really is anything we can do at this point.
Serafina: I have an idea. Theo, grab your jacket. We're going to talk to Dad.
Penrith: Yeah, because getting Arie involved sounds like a great idea.
Well, this is Serafina and Theo's half-brother, Damon.
Theo: What are we doing here? This seems like a terrible idea. I don't want anything to do with Dad or this kid.
Serafina: I was thinking that maybe we could get Mom and Dad back together.
Theo: Serafina! That's your plan? Get our parents who hate each other back together? What about this kid? Break up his parents too? I'm not saying that I don't wish it was possible. But you have to admit that this isn't going to fix anything.
Serafina: *Sighs* You're right, Theo. This was a mistake, wasn't it?
Theo, feeling even more disappointed and dejected than before: Let's go home.
Back at the house, Serafina cooks away her sadness, while Porter has just returned from his first evening at the fast food restaurant.
Porter: I got paid like twenty bucks. I'm never going to be able to afford a piano.
Yes, please age up little Aleksander. The less toddlers in this house, the better.
Sigh. Poor Porter.
Well, Aleksander is adorable. What a good mix of his parents! Naturally, he grows into the Gloomy trait.
Over the course of Penny's pregnancy, Serafina spends most of her time cooking and cleaning away her sorrows. I have to admit, I feel bad, but I don't mind. This kid is so useful!
Akira: You've really been picking up the slack around here Serafina. Your mom and I really appreciate it.
Serafina: Uh-huh.
Aleksander's an autonomous homework kind of kid. Finally! Although, I wish some of that would spread to Porter…who currently has a D. He's definitely not made for the academic life, that one.
Because I clearly have great judgment and time management skills, I decide to give Penny a garden to also take care of.
I regret it immediately.
MORE AUTONOMOUS HOMEWORK. Serafina…you are a great sim when depressed.
Penrith, on the other hand, is struggling quite a bit. -5.
Oh, dear… -5.
Penny: I can't do it anymore. I'm so pregnant. So tired. The kids are miserable.
Akira: You're in your third trimester. Things will be better soon enough.
Penny: If by better, you mean louder and messier, then yes. Yes it will.
Aleksander, on top of autonomous homework, is also into autonomous laundry-washing. This. Kid. Is a golden child.
Penrith…on the other hand…-5
Serafina: I cannot wait to move out. -5.
It sounds like ISBI legacy life may not exactly be Serafina's cup of tea.
Serafina: What's wrong with you?
Porter: …What about what's wrong with you?
Serafina: …Fair point.
I'm not going to lie, Porter's needs have been so erratic recently. I'm a bit afraid he's going to be my first accidental death.
-5.
Serafina: Mom, please. I'm so tired of cleaning.
Penny: Well, the good news is that I am now also in labor.
Arie eventually decides to show up again. Although, he hands out pretty exclusively in Serafina's room so he doesn't have to run into Penny.
Arie: Hey, what's going on, kiddo?
Theo: Mom's in labor.
Arie: What? Penny's pregnant?
Theo: You've been gone a while.
Arie: I hate this freaking family.
Penrith: Right back atcha, old man.
Greetings, Cole. You're the last one. You have to be. Mainly because there's literally no more room left in the house.
I hate playing 8-sim households, and here we are, first generation into my first ISBI challenge, with an 8-sim household.
You could say I have some regrets.
Akira: Hey, uh, Penny? Did you pay the electricity bill?
Penny: We don't have enough money!
Akira: Oh good. It's fine, I'll just go sell a lamp!…or six.
It's also time for another birthday! Heya, teenage Theo!
What a cutie! (And, yes, I realized he is wearing the same jacket as Akira. I eventually figure this out and switch his outfit) He rolls the same Botanist aspiration as Serafina, and becomes a snobbish perfectionist. Well, you will be fun. Or miserable. Probably miserable.
Theo: And, so, then Aleksander says that he doesn't even like coconut carob cake? What kind of heathen wouldn't like coconut carob cake?
Penrith: I don't know, man. I love a good health food.
Porter: I hate my life.
Theo: Why can't you just engage with our conversation, Porter? Why do you always have to be such a stick in the mud?
Porter: I'm just…so tired.
Penrith: I don't think he's doing too well, man. We should leave him alone. I think he might have a break down soon.
Akira: So…why are you sitting all the way over there?
Penny: I don't even want to risk getting pregnant.
Akira: I don't think that's how that works, but okay.
Sigh. -5.
Theo: Your form's all wrong, Mom.
Penny: Please let me have a few minute's piece, Theo. Mommy wants her old body back before the wedding.
Penny, you're five pregnancies removed from your old hips. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Before we know it, Cole has aged up into a toddler with the Wild trait. This house will never be the same again.
Theo: Can you believe that mom is threatening to wear black on her wedding day?
Penrith: Right? We all know it's just to piss off Aunt Lilith.
These two kill me with their posh banter.
Akira: Uh, hi Arie. It's been––
Arie: I thought you were my friend.
Akira: I see. Still not over the affair. I'll go sit in the bedroom so we don't run into each other.
Arie: That would be best.
Arie: Hi, son.
Theo: Hey, Dad. Are you staying for the wedding?
Penrith, under his breath: I sure hope not.
Arie: I don't think that's best, kiddo.
Theo: Look, I know this whole situation sucks. But that was like fifteen years ago. Don't you think it's time for you and Mom to be friends again?
Theo: Please, Cole, just eat the damned bell pepper.
Aleksander: It's not going to work, Theo. The one from lunch is still on the floor.
Cole is a MENACE.
Serafina: Mom, you CANNOT be serious about wearing that to get married.
Penny: But look at how mad it's making Lilith.
Serafina: Go. Change.
Penny: Fine, fine, okay.
That's right, folks. It's the day of the wedding! And all the exes and their new beaus are here. Even Luna!
Luna: Well, at least I'm skinnier than her.
That's the spirit, Luna…
Meanwhile, Cole is being an absolute nightmare. Izzy tries to help out, but Cole is having none of it.
Akira: Don't you think we should be home watching the kids?
Penny: Kira, we're literally in the back yard. They're fine.
Penny: I can't believe this day has finally come. I've been dreaming about marrying you since we first met that day out in town.
Where are all the wedding guests, you ask?
watching from the window in Serafina's room. Don't worry. I add a door to her room so these imbeciles can figure out how to go outside and watch the wedding. Talk about being surrounded by idiots.
Meanwhile, Cole passes out. Thanks, Cole. -5.
And Lilith changes into some of her finest goth-wear so she doesn't have to suffer from the sun.
What's Theo snickering about, you ask?
Theo: Her outfit is terrible.
Eloquent as always, Theo.
And with that our infamous, chaos-bringing couple is finally marriage. We can all breathe a sigh of relief that the engagements are officially over from Penny's generation. Let's recap: this girl went through FIVE proposals.
Luna: You okay?
Arie: I think we should just leave.
Luna: We'll stay for cake, and then we can go home. I want to make sure Penny sees how skinny I am after she eats her wedding cake.
So, Luna is terrible.
But, truth be told, Penny only has eyes for her husband and doesn't even take notice of Luna the rest of the evening.
PORTER. Sigh. -5.
Also, this is the point when I remembered to give Theo a new outfit. I thought this one suited him better anyways.
And while the party is still going on, these two decide to get it on.
But, meanwhile…
GRIM GET OUT OF HERE.
Oh, it's not for any of my sims. It's just Townie Brooke. I don't lose points for this, right?
Grim: Oh, good. Another Geriatric dinner party death.
Akira: It's a wedding.
Grim: That's even better.
Later that evening…
Penrith: Mom, can you at least pretend to look happy?
Penny: Is this better?
Penrith: It'll have to do.
OH MY LORD. Penrith is such an adorable combination of his parents. I love this kid! He rolls the writer aspiration, and grows up to be an outgoing paranoid teenager. Well, what fun we will have with you!
And I think that's enough drama (and birthdays––jeez) for one night.
Total score: -100.
…Well, guys…I never said I was a good ISBI player.
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